Hard Cold Truth

"Once A JackASS always a JackASS"

yup.. one of my sorority bro, "X" said this stuff as for my burfday wish last few days. i want to drop in hard but its kept on messing with my head afterwards, till now it still.let me make it clear. my sorority bros, well a few of them had planned out a big big burfday suprised for me. any guesses? yes, full of hardcore, punk live band, alcohol, girls, crazy stuff, stuff that i havent been updated since i changed myself.. well, before this, i already made a few changes of my life before i planned this new changes that i wanna make. its succeed. bax to the story. i refused n didnt go to that burfday party. n they called me, texted me, fucked me cuz of it. n thats how this above statement popped out. X called me n i picked up. X rumbled bout why i didnt showed up to the party n i explained. he laughed his ass out. "another changes, bro? cmon!" "Once a JACKASS, always a JACKASS, bare that in mind bro!".. well, for that own reason i lost many2 of my frens. cuz of the changes that i wanna make. cuz of the maturity of thinking that i wanna go for. its like a a piece of me die along with the changes. as u can recall, thats the reason why i kept on calling penang HellHole. cuz it turn up the bad in me.i took a lot of gud value of out me. i tried, for god sake i tried.. well, since the incident that happen with F (read below entry) a fillty thought popped out. maybe X was rite.. i am a badass, n i'll always be a badass. dats just the facts that i have to learn, the hard way. i wanna changed, i really do, but it take to much , a lot of sacrifices to make.. maybe im not ready. maybe i cant.maybe its true dat i am resist to change.maybe its not the time.maybe i dun really have a gud reason for changes my own path. or maybe it is my path to be a jackass. saf, sorry. i tried my besh. i did try. but i think i wont happened. maybe another time.out!

p/s- i havent make a decision yet, stil under consideration though.