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He Walk Among Us, But He's Not One Of Us

November 11, 2013

Silhouette Of A Broken Psyche

Take A Look At Me Now.
All The Pain I Feel,
The Cracks On My Heels,
The Scars That Never Heal.

Will You Look At Me Now?
Sanity Had Left The Building,
Goodness Has Gone Melting,
The Angel On My Shoulder Is Falling.

Look Away Right Now.
Not A Beautiful Sight To See,
Darkness Consumes Generously,
Blood Spills Jubilantly.

Take A Peek At Me Right Now.
Bleeding Inside Means Nothing,
Sinner Wannabe Keep On Craving,
Yet Conscience Left Unwilling.

For God Sake Never Glance Ever Now.
Shooting Stars Are For Helpless Believers,
Work No Magic On We Haters,
But Nothing Else Matters.

Gaze This Way Right Now
This Ain't A Warning Of Whats Coming,
Only The End Is Approaching,
So Start Counting Your Blessing.

Snub From Far Far Away Right Now.
Yeah Don't Help Me Ya Pussies,
I'm Fine On My Own Backsies,
No Need For Sympathy Apologies.

Shun Yourself Away Please, Do It Now!
Imma Time Bomb Ticking Life Away,
Nothing Means To Correction Sway,
Be That As It May.

Leave Me Alone Now!
This Is No Cry For Help,
I Ain't Having Reciprocation Relapse,
I Don't Want My Ass Save.

Go Away Right Now!
Let Me Alone With This Godforsaken Curse,
Let My Soul Burst,
I Need It To Satisfy My Lust.

Alone At Last Right Now!
Counting The Stars As I Lay Narrating,
But Its Too Late Denying
That I Am In Fact Dying. 

September 17, 2013

Monday Ain't That Bad As Long As You Make The Full Out Of It

You. Me. Us. Inseparable. Satisfaction. Unconquerable. Affection. Happy. Seizable. Freeze. Unique. Moment. History. True. Enjoy. One. Simple. Invincible. Pleasure. Easy. Sufficient. Insurmountable. Amorousness. Beauty. Devotion. Fond. Passion. Attached. Special. Cultivated. Enough. Embellish. Delightful. Gratify. Vindicate. Surreal. Magical. Real. Plain. Standout. Careless. Bold. Precious. Together.

August 17, 2013

You.Me.The Story.

You.Me.The Stars.Rain.Memory.

Forget Not The Memorable Night, Unplanned Yet Historic. Two Different Soul Apart From Different Mindset And Not Conclusive To One Direction Yet There We Are, Combined Forces Under The Oath Of A Promise, Unbroken. As We Spill Beans, We Bond. As We Talk, We Shared. As We Laugh, We Enjoyed. Every Second Counts, But I Don't Need Forever As Long As I Have That As A Memory.

We Both Suffered, That Was Agreed Upon. We Both Crumble, That Was Unavoidable. We Both Thrive Over The Pain, That Was Endured. Separately, Yet Back On Top, Rise Higher And Better. We Feel The Pain, And What Damage Its Done, We Overcome, Not Fully But Damaged Good. Yet Here We Again, Back Again With Brand New Spirit. We Shared A Bad Memory, Not Together Per Say, But A Decision Was Made, Never Ever We Will Let Distance Take Its Toll On Us, Ever Again. That Was Mutual, Not To Each Other But A Promise To Oneself.

You.Me.The Moments.Magical.Insane

It Doesn't Have To Take 2 Years Or 4 Months To Know That We Are Meant For Each Other. The Identical Pieces That Fit Perfectly But Long Lost To Be Joined. Until The Joyful Experience Arrived, No Sooner Than Later.It Takes 6 Hours For Both Of Us To Realise What Was In Front Of Us. The Chemistry Is Nothing, Because The Moment Is What Really Count. Right There, The Magic Happened. All It Take Is One Bold Action, And Everything Fall Into The Right Place. The Moment, Is Something We Will Take It To The Bank In The End.

You.Me.The Promise. Amorousness. Forever.

A Deal Was Struck. A Moment Had Been Seized. Live The Life We Had For The Limited Time We Had. All It Takes Was 5 Days To Connect. 2 Days To Realize. And The Rest Of The Period To Cherish. All Together We Have 27 Days, 13 Gone, 14 To Go. Because On The 28 Days, We Promise To End Thing Peacefully And When Our Separate Way, Since Distance Is One Sucky Bitch.

Counting The Day We Had. Live For The Moment We Had. Do Crazy Stuff We Had. Sit Down, Chill And Talk We Had. Holding Hand For Half An Hour Without Saying One Word We Had. Bitch To Each Other About Some Shits In Our Life We Had. Avoid The Police Together We Had.

When The Dust Settled, We Had Our Fun. And We Gonna Continue Having Fun For The Next 14 Days. After That, Shit Just Got Real. We Make A Promise To Each Other. Unbreakable Oath. On The Day 28, We Will Put It To An End. Thats A Promise I'm Willing To Take. Will You? Can You? The Cards On The Table, Its Your Move.

You.Me.The Conclusion.Everlasting.Perfect

For The Brand New Phase, On The Next Chapter, We Choose To Be A Complete Stranger. It Sound Stupid Yes, But We Are Both Crazy Ain't We? Because Nothing Else Matters. We Both Been Burned Before, We Know How This Will End, How Fuck Up Shits Gonna Get, So We Choose Not To Get Down The Messy Road. We Had Found A Loophole For The Hellhole.We Make A Pact To End Thing Even Even Things Are At The Very Best, Because We Both Know How Its Gonna End If We Choose To Fight The Cause, Why Should We? In The End, Yes We Will Be Stranger, But We Got Something Bigger, Better. An Everlasting Memory That Forever Will Last, UnTarnishable, Perfect. Hurt? I Seriously Don't Know. Ask Me Again In 15 Days, But As For Right Now, Its Going Great. Live For The Moment, To The Fullest And Worry About The Future Not. One Thing I Do Know, Out Of Thus Craziness, I Had Something Beautiful To Hold On To Down The Road In The Future When Life Decides To Throw Me Lemons. Just One Thing I Ever Hope For Is That You Will Keep Your Words, Your Promise. If Not, This Will Ended Up Being Just Another Bad Memory We Really Wanna Erase From Our Mind. Keep Your Words Please, As I Will Keep Mine And Forever We Will Be Everlasting-ly Perfect.

June 30, 2013

Things Sometimes Ain't Horizontally Straight. Sometimes We Need To Go Down

I Am What People Thought They Knew, Yet Somehow When I'm Not.
Hate Is Not The Question Here, It Is The Fundamental Of Belief
The Crazy Thing Is, After All The Shit Storms, I Was Never Alone. 
Fact Is Not The Sure Fire Thing Here, Fact Can Change, Believe It.
That Is Not What I'm Trying To Shoot Here. Thing Always Confusing. 
I Don't Need To Justify Myself Here, I Do What I Do, Don't Judge!
Need More? Here, Take This And Try This One For Size. This Is Me. 
You People Always Ask For More, Even When Shitloads Drop.
More Or Less, I Never Put High Hopes On People To Get The Deal.
Than What? Is This The Time When I Tell You Guys The Real Version?
You Will Never Believe Me Anyway, So My Bother? Why Ask?
Know, Know This! I'm Not The Knight With Shining Armor Of Bravery.
I Am Just A Guy Who Want Thing The Way He See It, That's All.
Miss The Old Me? The One That Keep His Shits Together? 
You Ought To Be Disappointed. Why Oh Why Do You Believe Me?
Beautiful Letdown? Thats My Nickname Ever Since. Why So Surprise? 

Gandhi Was Killed By His Own Countryman You Know

"Be The Change You Wanna See In This World"

Thanks For The Advice, But You're Not In My Position, You Don't Walk In My Shoes. You Haven't Cross The Lines Of Appropriateness That People Claimed To Be The Breaking Point, Yet Somehow Manage To Pull Through.  No, You Haven't Seen It All, The Dark Side Of The World, The Potential Of Armageddon Which Itself Is A Ticking Time-Bomb Waiting To Seized It Moment.

Don't Try To Put It On Me, The Blame Might Be Mine To Hold But These Hands As Bloody As Everyone Else's. I Tried, Goddamn It, I Did Put My Best To Shine The Light, Not To The Life Itself, But Mine Alone. Everyday I Put A Fake Smile To The People I Hate, Laugh At The Jokes That Ain't Freaking Funny, Show Me Sympathy To Those Who Don't Deserve Yet Here I Am, Deep In The Darkness Without Any Breathing Space, Same As Them Losers Who Never Even Tried To Be Good.


June 25, 2013

Stand Still Obelisk, Don't You Dare Move

Never Say Never, As I Always Say Never Give Up Never Surrender.No, Yes!

Things Standstill Unless I Make It Move, Why? I Don't. I Did Half The Shits I'd Done Because I Felt Its Right For That Moment. Do You Think I Don't Feel It Too? I'm Afraid For The Mistakes I Made, For The Confession I Threw. My Nature Resolve Around Making People Happy, Especially You. I'll Do Anything To Make You Happy.

I'm The Idiot. I'm On The Wrong Side Of Track. No, I'm The Idiot. 

Yes, We Choose This. We Want This. Stay Here, Still No Need To Move,That's The Promise. For That, I Ought To Say Sorry For Making All The Shits Real. Again, We Feel What We Feel, I Say What I Want If I Think Its Right For The Moment, If Its Not, I'll Pay The Price. Things About Me, The Move I Push Something, The Stronger It Get. Sucks Right? 

I'm The Idiot. I'm On The Wrong Side Of Track. No, I'm The Idiot. 

Sorry Is Not Appropriate Here? Why Should You, Ain't Your Fault. Just Be Honest As Always. Nothing Should Ever Change. 

 There Is None, I Get That. 


Yes, We Been Living In Fantasy, But Isn't That The Point? Because Reality Sometimes To Shitty, We Need A Safe Haven To Feel Happy.

Pain? Times Thousand, Thats How I Feel Because I On The Wrong Side Here. There's Nothing, There's Should Be Nothing. It's Okay, It's Allright.

 How Far We've Come? Where Do We Go From Here?

Get What I Can Get Or Leave Anything? Gotcha.
Here, In This So Called Zone, Is What Make Me Happy. No String Attached.

June 20, 2013

Cry Of The Unsung Hero

The Past.
An Unstoppable Record That Keep On Playing Reminding That The Darkness Is For Eternity. There's No Escaping It, As It Is A Prison Itself, Without Any Glimpse Of Hopes Dare To Enter. You Can Try, But No Light Ever Come Down To The Deep End As This Is The Last Pit Stop Of The Journey For Any Trusting Man. This Is A No Man Island, The Lost Cause's Paradise Where People Gather And Walk Through With Their Happy Life, Yet I Am Still Stuck Between Staying Down A Loser, Or Picking Myself Up As A Broken Man. Tried And Still Trying To Leave. Successful Broke My Way Out Yet There's Still Some Missing Pieces. Maybe I Left It In The Darkness, Or Maybe Just Too Damn Scare To Open The Locked Door To Find It.The Key Is In My Hand, But This Cowardice Hand Is Still Shaking From The First Knocked Out Blow, It Left Me Pissing My Pant To Even Open The Door, Let Alone Going Inside To Pick Up The Missing Pieces. What A Coward, What A Loser.

The Present
Glancing At All The Changes That Past By As I Am A Rusty Blade Trying To Sharpen My Tool. Still Trying To Keep Up With The Pace, Yet Still The Last One To The Finish Line. Never Give Up, Never Surrender. Yeah Right, That's The Spirit Boy! Keep Telling Yourself That, Maybe Someday You'll Believe It, As Everyone Else Fool Enough To Eat Your Word. Maybe Its Never Been About Not Giving Up, Maybe All That Matters Is You Trying Your Damnest To Even Take Part. Yet Some Say Participation Trophy Suck Ass. Whatcha Aiming For? A Beautiful Swansong That You Might Tell Your Children About? The Conquest Of Love That Once Kick Your Loin And Hurt You So Effing Bad, You Became A Sore Coward? And Now You Willing To Give It Another Go? Is That What This All About? This Is The "Now" Time, Yet Here You Are Asking All This "What If" Questions. Questions That You Yourself Too Freaking Afraid To Know The Answers. Is This About Retribution And Redemption? No. This Is About Participating. Be A Good Sport And Support The Game Of Life That So Popular Everyone Have A Chance To Win It. But You Are Rusty, You Said So Yourself, So Why Bother?  Is It A Practice Run? Yes, Maybe It Is. A Beta Trial Before You Unleash Your True Power, Your Full Capabilities On Conquering And Owning The Game. But, Why This Feel The Same Like Before? Why All The Flashback Keep On Rolling Before Me Eyes? Is This An Indication Of What They Say, "History Might Repeat Itself". If So, Why Are You Still Here? Run Bitch Run. Don't Stay, Why Hurt Yourself Even More? Remember, You Ain't Perfect, You Ain't Fully Recover. You Are Still, And Maybe Forever Will Be, A Broken Man.

The Future
Never Been The Guy With A Plan Yet The Hope For An Happy Ending Is Still Burning. "Live For The Moment" But The Present Itself Full Of Uncertainty And The Past Is Too Damn Scary. So How Come You Still Holding On To The Dream Of Happiness? Does It Really Exist Or Is Just Another "White Lies" Everybody Keep On Saying To Keep People At Bay Of Calmness Since Nobody Want Chaos To Run Its Money. But I See Through The Lies. I Know The Real Deal. Happiness Is A Myth, No Matter What Everyone Say. So Why Take The Step Into This So Called Fantasy Zone? is This The Place Where People Find Their Charm Of "Pick Me Up" Bracelets? So The Future Itself A Zone Of Uncertainty. So Where Is The Save Haven? The Place Of Paradise Where People Are Genuinely Happy? So? If My Thought Ever Reach This Place, What Should I Do? This Is The Place With Full Of Unanswered Question , So Why Do I Wanna Stay Here? Maybe I Can Take A Step Back, Snap Back Into Reality And Warp Myself Back To The Present. But I Don't Belong In The Present. Its A Fancy New Place, With People Learning New Tricks? How Can I, An Old Dog, Survive? Yeah Yeah, They Say Old Dog Can Learn A New Trick, But Does It Really That Easy? So What Now? Go All The Way Back To The Past? No No No. I'm Still Having Nightmares About That Place, Don't Ever Make Me Go Back There. I Was A Survivalist, Trying To Stay Alive, Never Really Living. But I Don't Belong In The Present, Its Too Confusing, And I Don't Wanna Be Here In The Future, Its Scarier. So Where Do I Belong? Please, Somebody Please Help Me Out!

May 30, 2013

In The Dark We Shall Wait, In The Light We Shall Meet

A Line.
Too Thick For Someone So Big To Realise It Exists.
Yet You Cross Like Nothing Ever Stand In The Way.

A Door.
A Key In Need To Open For Answer Yet You Haven 't Ask The Important Question.
Rhetorical Maybe But As Real As You And Me.

A History.
A Year Long Of Pain And Suffering But A Disguise Well Played Hidden In All From All Playing Roles.
Fear Not, In Their Eyes You Are Still The Sweet Angel In Distress And I Am The Asshole With Rage.

A Recognition.
Something As Valuable As Single Dust In The Air But Nothing Ever Prove So Innocence. 
A Blessing In Disguise But Never Revealed As The Public Shouldn't Know.

A Smile.
As Sharp As A Knife Cutting A Flesh Of A Scarred Wound.
Never Healed Never Recover And Still There To Remember.

A Simple Hello.
Reconciliation In Form Of Genuine Gesture Yet Poisonous As Ivy's Strike.
A Cute Meet, Never Planned Never Executed Yet Might Make Right.

A Conclusion.
What The Future Holds For Us Is For You And I To Set Atone.
The Balls In Your Court As I Am Here Not As A Judge But As A Witness For Justice.

May 2, 2013

Luahan Hati Patriot

Percaya Atau Tidak Aku Bukanlah Penyokong Politik Yang Tegar. Kadang-Kadang Tu Memang Nampak Perbuatan Aku Lebih Berat Untuk Satu Pihak Yang Berpolitik Tapi Itu Bukan Situasi Sebenar. Aku Tak Minat Politik, Diulang, Tak Minat Tapi Tetap Kena Ambil Tahu Sebab Sekarang Aku Adalah Pengundi Berdaftar.

Lagi Dua Tiga Hari, PRU13 Tiba. Excited? Tak Sabaq Nak Tau Sapa Yang Menang? Untuk Aku Tak. I’m Freaking Nervous Because Based On What Had Happened, Its Going To Be A Tough Call For Both Sides. Its Everyone’s Game To Play, Dan Sesapa Pun Boleh Menang Dari Pandangan Aku. Apa Yang Aku Betui Betui Takut Ialah Apa Yang Bakal Berlaku. Pakatan Dengan Harapan Rakyat, Ini Kalilah, Ubah,  Dan Barisan Dengan Kestabilan Dan Rakyat Didahulukan. Ya Kalau Betui Pakatan Take Over, Congratulation, Lead Us Towards All The Changes That You Guys Claimed You’ll Create And Untuk Barisan, Kalau Betul Kalah Step Down Peacefully, Jangan Jadi Sore Losers. Pengundi Pakatan Akan Respect Lebih Kalau Betul You Guys Kalah, And Raise The White Flag Without Any Sort Of Negative Retaliation. Try To Walk In Pakatan’s  Shoes For Once And Look Back On Your Previous Mistakes On Why People Desperately Urge For Changes And Work Your Way Back To The Top. Take It As A Wake Up Call To Clean Up All Your Mess. Its Not The Matter Of How You Were Knockdown But Its About How You Get Back Up.  Lebih 50 Tahun Memerintah, Dan Aku Tak Boleh Deny Semua Kebaikan Yang Telah Dibuat Tetapi Bagi Sesetengah Pihak Apa Yang Hampa Buat Masih Tak Cukup Sebab Tu Banyak Yang Bangkit Menuntut Perubahan.

Untuk Geng Geng Pakatan Rakyat Pulak, Let Say Barisan Still Menang, Still Holds Majorities in Parliamentary Seats, Jangan Jadik Kera Sumbang Yang Hanya Tahu Protes. Terima Kenyataan, Yang Rakyat Malaysia Tidak Menerima Segala Janji-Janji Manis Yang Hampa Plan Nak Buat Untuk Ubah Pentadbiran Negara. New Malaysia Rises? Yes, That’s Ring True To Anyone , Banyak Rakyat Dah Makin Sedar Dengan Perubahan Yang Perlu Dilakukan Tapi Mahukah Rakyat Malaysia Berubah? Itu Persoalan Yang Bakal Terjawab 5 Mei Nanti. There’s Only One Way To Win The Throne of The Government In Our  Constitutional Monarch System, Win The General Election With A Landslide Victory, That’s The Only Way. Tapi Kalau Kalah Macam Mana? Tolonglah, Tak Mau Dah Street Rally, Demostrations And Whatnot. Yes, You Claimed That It Is The Only Way To Let Your Voice Heard, But Is It The Best Way? Terima Kenyataan Kalau Kalah, Again, Jangan Jadik Sore Losers. Apa Itu Pembangkang? Salah Satu Komponen Untuk Check And Balance The Ruling Party If There’s Something Fishy In Their Administration. Kalau Kalah, Accept The Fact Yang Malaysian Still Not Ready For Changes, And Work Your Way Again To The Top In GE14.
Aku Anak Malaysia, Lahir Kat Malaysia, Jati Diri Dan Patriotisme Yang Sangat Tebal. Aku Tak Suka Tengok Negara Kucar-Kacir. Ya, Aku Suka Akan Perubahan, Ya Aku Suka Akan Kestabilan. Jangan Kerana Terlalu Nak Sesuatu Kita Lupa Apa Yang Paling Penting, Negara Itu Sendiri. Jangan Kerana Terlalu Ingin Memerintah Atau Terlalu Ingin Untuk Mengekalkan Kuasa Kita Lupa Untuk Mempertahankan Apa Yang Kita Sedia Ada. Jangan Kerana Politik Kita Berpecah Belah Dan Memberi Peluang Orang Luar Untuk Mengambil Kesempatan. Apa Apa Pun Terjadi, Kita Semua Masih Di Bawah Payung Yang Sama, Payung Jalur Gemilang. Berpolitiklah Secara Aman, Sebelum Dah Selepas Pilihan Raya Umum 2013. Ini Hanya Luahan Hati Seorang Anak Malaysia Yang Sangat Sayangkan Negara Sendiri, Negara Yang Unik Dengan Kepelbagaian Kaum Dan Tradisi.

P/S- Politic Never Dirty, But Politicians Are Different Matter

May 1, 2013

Mirror Mirror On The Wall Who's The Filthiest Among Us All?

Hey, You Can Act All Tough But Your Words Are See Through. You Said You Will Burn The House Down But You Can't Even Lit The Match. Parading To The Preachers That You The Kind Of Bringing Nuclear Bomb To Fist Fight, Killing All Innocent And Sacrificing Yourself For The Ounce of Recognition That You Are A Man Of Your Own Words. Who Are You Kidding? When The Smoke Clear, Yet There You Are Standing By Yourself Regretting All Your Past Sins But Do Nothing To Perfect Yourself. Your Action Never Speaks Louder To No Words, Only A Menagerie Of Misery On The Stage Of Deception.  Screaming Your Lung Out At The Edge Of World's Corner Where No One Will Ever Hear Your Silent Cry, Just The Way You Like It. You Want People To Believe That You The One Of The Kind, The Savior Of The Light, But You Do Wrong As Easy As You Write A Sweet Poem. Who Are You Kidding? Maybe People Did See Right Through Your Lies, But Turned Away Anyhow Because To Them, You Don't Matter. Just Another Pariah Trying To Fit In, Thriving In His Own Fantasy Yet So Far For Reality. A Typical Loser Who Living His Pathetic Life Trying To Gain Courtesy, Yet Easily Break Like A Crush Melon On Sunny Day. "Time Will Heal The Pain But The Scars Remain". Keep Telling Yourself That, As It Ring Truth To No One, Except The Demon That Lies Within, Calling All The Shots And Making All The Moves As He Reign Control As The One Puppet-Master. As Tough As It Comes, Life Is A Bitch! So What? Need Somebody To Hold Your Hair While You Puke You Heart, Sissy? Doesn't Matter, The End Is Here. See That You Never Miss The Ride Because There's No One Better To Enjoy The Scenery Of Losing Hope Than Yourself. Confused? It's Just A State Of Mind. There's Nothing In The End, Only A Flashback Of Destruction That Once You Enjoyed So Fucking Much! Just One Thing, Make Sure You Do Go Out With A Bang!

April 17, 2013

My Way Or The Highway

Not Gonna Make A Birthday Post This Year. Hell With It, I'm Aries. We, The Aries People Will Do What We Want, Whenever We Want!

April 8, 2013

The Battle Is All But Lost Yet Here I Am


Such A Funny Word, Seems Sweet But Sometime It Bites Someone So Hard They Can't Even Bring Themselves Up. 
Such A Game Where A Person Will Lays Everything On The Table But In The End Crash And Burn.
Such An Irresistible Force That It Mesmerize An Individual To The Point Where Addiction Become The New Solution.
Such A Gamble Where At Some Point All You Can Up Is Look Up To The Sky At Pray That Its At Your Mercy.
Such A Thing Where Stupidity Is Only One Step Away From Rationality. 
Such An Stature Where Those Who In It, Suffer A Lot But The Thing Itself Self Protected.

Why oh Why?
If Its Hurt So Much Why Everybody Put Themselves Into The Hardship of Getting It?
If Its That Painful Why Everyone Gunning For It And Feel Lonely if They're Not On Board?
If Its So Beautiful Why Everyone Raise The Middle Finger To The Point Of No Going Back?
If Its That Worth It Why Everybody Stuck In The Middle Whereby Only A Few Survive, Barely?

Maybe It Is Better Without
Maybe It Is Simpler Not To Have It
Maybe It Is A Force Not To Be Deal With
But Maybe,
Nobody Able.
Nothing Stay Forever And Ever
Maybe Living In Your Own World Without Having To Deal With Such Thing Is The Safest Way To Live.

But Then,
Thats Not Who I Am.
I Love Playing The Dangerous Game.
I Hate Being Hurt But I Always Up On My Feet At The End
I Come Out Stronger But Damaged On The Other Side
I Am Who I Am But Sometime To Be Myself I Have To Bring Someone In
I Am Fragile And Easy To Fall But Never Really Understand.

You're The One I Need
You're The One I've Searching For
You're The One, The Savior I've Been Looking For All My Life
You're The One The Different Kind From My Previous Encounter.
Yeah You! I Am Talking To You!
You're The Forbidden Fruit But I Am A Self Inflicted Fighter
You're In The Place Where The Odds Are Against Me.
But What The Hell? I Am Gambler.
I Rather Crash And Burn Then Asking Myself "What If?" In Future
All My Card On The Play, Its Your Turn To Play.
Game On!

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