Another One, But Its Differents This Time

Let me tell u a story.a story that involve me of course n something that i cant even explain.i used to call it love addiction but in this matter in fact, i dun really think its an love addiction.apart of me always fall for someone, someone that i barely know, i suddenly fall for her n then in a week after i totally forgot bout her, ussually this love addiction happened to somebody that i barely know."white sweater girl" or "kiss me gurl", these are the example of my love addiction.mostly, it fade away bcuz these girls are not in my circle which mean im not close to them.and then, come along this girl.lets just call her "ANGEL" instead of having a slutty nickname. this girl is different from any of my love addiction girl cuz i know her for about a year now.well, i gotta say at first sight my mind set up to picturize as cute n charming- in her own way.i kinda had a fall for her but i never put it in a serious mode.but lately, after some incident i think my feeling toward her blossom. blossomly blossom.i cant stop thinking bout her, i cant stop watching her pic or vid, i even dreamt bout her, in a kinda soft porn dream but not wet dream.so tell me, is this anothe rlove addiction? i dunno.maybe i have to wait for a week to find out.but seriesly for the moment shes the one that i wanna love but i cnat risk it cuz shes in my circle.i dun wanna break to chemistry of it cuz its gonna blows everything.but my heart says differently.im i willing to risk it all? i mean look at me.i dun even up to her standard.i swear if i confess to her, this is what im gonna get, "WHAT??? ARE U SERIOUS??"..im pretty damn sure this is what she gonna say.what can i say, we fit perfectly as a frens.wel, most of us.without one another, i think our circle gonna fall into pieces.but yet again i ask myself.how can she accept me? well, look at me. i smoke, i drank im lazy n all the negativity of captivity is all on me.well, thats not gonna hold me back.seriesly, i still havent decide what to do.maybe i should give it some times first n see whether this is just a love addiction or true love? im a believer of true love okay, i just never found one.maybe its her.i dunno.