Pimpin' Is Hard, Especially When You're Pimpin' Bout Yourself

I still remember a few month back in early September, I was like a lost bird in the sky, looking for a shelter tree, hoping to make a new home, without any disturbance. Yes, that's me when I first arrived in Shah Alam. kinda scared at first, well the fact that I never been away , far away from home, give you some chills on the bone. Well I'm not really dependent time of person where I cling too much on my perfect home, I was away for quite few times in my life. I was at boarding school for three years. Then during my Diploma, I was in Kedah, not that far away, but still it counts. But Shah Alam, is the biggest step away i ever took. Gotta be honest, I was a lil scare at first. New enviroment, new place, new program to study, new level of academy, everything's new. Even when I was started my life here i still felt lonely, maybe cuz I was taking a giant leap of my life, since I blatantly choose a program to further my academic without having anyone to be in it together. Yes, my first two weeks in Shah Alam was a hell. I thought about quitting, but I just brace myself through it, hoping for a miracle to happen, and yet it did. Now, fast forward 4 1/2 month after, I am happy to be here. I'm clicking with the drastic changes in my life. I'm not doing real great academically, but I meddle through, so that's put it in the winning column. I guess what I'm trying to babble about is this, changes are hard at first, but patience, somewhere somehow, You'll ended up being fine, or if you're lucky enough, You'll enjoy every bit of it.

p/s- Just looked through my old Diary post about being scare to come to Shah Alam, silly me!

Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim Found Not Guilty, Whats Next?

p/s- i havent write political post for a quite some times, maybe it because the fact that im no longer an administration student, but this is something i would like to voice out. peace!

Up until yesterday, Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim was proven innocent when it comes to the case of Sodomy II as he was acquitted and discharged from all accusation, the High Court ruled. It had been a hell of a ride since the case been dragged in and out all over Malaysia and put the nation in the highest roller coaster ride in as Anwar, controversial as he is, has been everything except politically quiet. The verdict may seems surprise for some, but let me restate, there is a separation of power in the government as Executive branch of the administration (Government’s Cabinet) and Legislative branch (House of Senate and House of People) cannot intervene with Judiciary branch (Courts) when it come to upholding justice in society. That should put the stop for all the accusation receive by the judicial powerhouse for being bias, but guess what, the roller coaster ride goes on, and probably ever higher this time. Why? Because the questions remain, what’s next?

Viewed from the opposition side of the political arena, the opposition team, who going to put the ruling party runs for their money in governing the nation, there’s should be a stop in indication that the government (ruling party) runs the judiciary and actually make the decision for all verdicts when politicians involved. But, no, it is not. As for the past two years of the trial of Sodomy II, Anwar, everywhere he goes, use the trial as a “sympathy card” to gain trust and hopefully the votes from the people, as 13^th General Election (GE13) is just around the corner. From the decision made by High Court, he is now a free man, and the decision may sight as simple, but it will become Anwar’s strongest campaign weaponry. He now can announce to the whole wide world that he is innocent, capable in taking over the government and leads Malaysia to the dawn of a new day. It is a dream that seems impossible on paper, but not unachievable. Can Anwar and the rest of Pakatan Rakyat army accomplish this, well GE13 is just around the corner, and all shall wait and see.

As from the perspective of the ruling party, the current government, Barisan Nasional (National Front) is desperate to triumph over the pressure pull by the Pakatan Rakyat, stirring the unstable ship from sinking call Malaysia. Yes, they are in the place where changes of power may not be so far ahead, but they do gain something from the verdict of Sodomy II. As many left flank journalists or even Pakatan Rakyat themselves keep on feeding people that current government has an “invincible hand” control any conclusion made by judiciary, they are now standing tall because the verdict do not favor Anwar’s loyalists and claiming over the “invincible hand” control can now be axe out. The ruling party now are clean, and that are the weapon of “sympathy card” available for Barisan Nasional to coup with, or at least for another term in the decreeing office. Justice was served, for both side of the battle.

Again, the rising question, what’s next? GE13 is approaching, less a year to be exact, and both race cars is looming to the final lap. And what Malaysian left with? Chaos and disasters roaming caused the nation is now upside down. Rallies straying the streets as people showed their disappointment and those who disagree wrestle back with rallies. It is just another case of fighting fire with fire. And what are the people left with? The leftover of once good virtue of Malaysia, the niceness and respectful attitude, die alongside the aggressive approaches took by both side of political party. Yes, aggressive approaches are taken by the Pakatan Rakyat not us, claimed by the supporters of current government. Do not forget the incident of several explosion incidents took place on January 9 just outside Jalan Duta court, right after Anwar was proven innocent by the court. The explosion injured 5 people, including a lawyer. Isn’t that an aggressive approach? Explosions were used by Palestinian, but their war is for a bigger cause, what do we Malaysian have to go war against? There’s only with each other, and for what, so that some individual can have a seat in the government? Wake up, Malaysian!

Hardcore Reality

*Click To Enlarge*

Wow! I More Viewers From America Rather Than Malaysia. *speechless

Riddle In The Dust #1

"You Are Close, But Yet So Far"..

Ouch! Hope Those Aren't Meant For Me

Confused Is Just Another Word For Fucked Up

I Move On. I Step Out Of The Dark. I Am On The Other Path, The Rightful One. I Made My Choice. I Left Everything That Holding Me Back To Move Forward. You Included. I Rise From The Ashes And Reborn. I Am A New Man,Driven To Change The Course Of My Life. And Then Out Of Sudden...

You Were There. Standing In The Corner Of The Street. Not Saying Any Word But I Know Your Intention. Your Expression Tells. You Are Not Happy With "The New Me". You Wish I Go Back To The Way Things Are Before. You Are Hoping That I Could Turn Back. Go Back To Your Grasp, So That You Can Work Your Magic Over Me, Again And Again. A Puppet-Master And I Was Your Little Bitch. Nay, I Was Your Very Best Creation. The One That Kill Without Hesitation. The Beast That Shallow The Light And Turn The World Cold.

Now Here I Am Kneeling On The Ground. Doubtful, Confused, Angered! Leveling With The Demon That Firmly Suggested To Unleash The Worst. Be Like Before, The Voices Kept On Yelling. This So Called Righteous Path Wasn't Made For You. You Are Confused. You Are Not This Type. You Shouldn't. Remember, Remember, Remember. How Cheerful Life Was Before You Changed. Stop Fighting Who You Were Destined To Be. This World Needs No More Saints To Corrected Misled Soul From Hellish Damnation. Just Go Back, Do Not Refuse, You Cannot Fight This Temptation.

Here I Am. Standing In Between. Wishing To Be Good But Yet Stuck In The Darkness. Waiting To Make A Step. Either Left To Hell, Or Right To The Path Of Unknown.

On Going Poem.

A World Without Pain Is So Much Fun,
But Its A Fantasy, in Reality There Cant Be None,
But Yet Someway Somehow We Want To Simplify,
But No Worries, I Am Here If You Started To Break Tears of Cry,
Maybe Someday The World World Will Be At Slide,
Till Then Hopefully This Is Enough, A Wish Of GoodNight!

p/s-so far, this is what i had come up with

Lil Piece Of Heaven!

Diari Seorang Lelaki-Harga Sebuah Kasih Sayang

Kasih Sayang Memang Boleh Di Nilai Melalui Wang Kertas, Bukan Syiling.. Jangan Bertopengkan Tali Persaudaraan Dan Talian Darah Sebagai Alasan Untuk Mengatakan Kasih Sayang Tiada Nilainya Jika Dibandingkan Dengan Wang Kertas. Sampai Satu Tahap, Kasih Sayang Mampu Dibeli Dengan Wang Kertas. Cuma Kita Yang Tidak Mahu Menerima Hakikat Sebenar. Kasih Sayang Kepada Insan Lain? Wang Kertas Tetap Memainkan Peranan.. Dan Yang Pasti Peranan Wang Kertas Adalah Faktor Terbesar Dalam Kasih Sayang Sesama Insan. Cinta Bukan Bererti Kasih Sayang. Kasih Sayang Sesuatu Yang Ditagih, Diperlukan, Diinginkan, Namun Ia Datang Dengan Tanda Harga. Tanda Harga Yang Kadang2 Bukan Semua Mampu Untuk Membayarnya. Jalan Keluar? Ada Cara Untuk Memliliki Kasih Sayang Dengan Mudah, Tetapi Sekali Lagi, Wang Kertas Memainkan Peranan. Mampukah Kita? Bukan Semua Mampu, Tetapi Jalan Berliku Perlu Ditempuh Hebat, Dan Ada Yang Sanggup.Ini Fakta, Walaupun Pahit Untuk Dimamah!

p/s- tagline- "Muka Hensem, Dressing Stylo, Xkan Xdak Awek Kot"

This Ain't A Lullaby Sleepyhead

No Matter How Good You Are, No Matter How High To Fly To Reach Your Fn-ing Dream, There's Always Someone Better To Beat You At Your Own Game. Yes, We All Try So Damn Hard To Reach Your Own Goal, But Realise One Thing, Other's Dreams Are Sometimes Bigger, Better And Far More Higher. In Comparison, They Make Us Look Pathetic. In Comparison, We Are Tiny, We're Like Bacteria To Flea. Isn't Awful If We Think Like That? Better Off Not Having Any Dream At All, Aight? Well, In That Case, You'll Be A Loser Forever, And Maybe That's What You Truly Deserve..

Why Not?

-Untitled-

Kill Or Be Killed , Who Cares, Everybody Gotta Die Sometimes

"Learn To Hate Before You Can Love"

I know. Some people, no, I should say most people prefer the other ways around. They kept on saying oneself should know how to love before they step on the world of hatred. Well not me. What can I say? I have a twisted mind to begin with. Maybe in this context I'm more protective than before. You know, prevent something bad from happen so you gotta gank up your mind with the worst case scenario so if anything goes wrong, you are ready for it. If you not fully prepared, well the pain will come and get ya. So my advice people, learn to hate before you can love. Hate everything first, so when thing get out of hand, you are not that fucked up because at least you hate the thing first thing first, and if the thing out of good, well just cherish it and act surprise because sometime not everything is negative enough for us to hate. Well, maybe by having this kind of thought make you a negative enforcer but who cares, protect your own self because other right. By all mean, in deep deep truth, all people are selfish, and when push come to shove, they'll show their true colour, and when that happen, you'd wish that you hate it in the first place so you won't be that affected. Regardless, I am not perfect and god knows I'm not always right, so maybe you shouldn't follow my way, but it's your choice, play along and someday you'll get hurt or play my playbook and maybe you won't get hit so bad that you can't step back up. Again, it is your choice though.

p/s- Love Is Addictive So Its Fucking Hard To Hate Anything Or Someone

Wake Up Stupid, Its A Nightmare Not A Sweet Dream

Waiting.

For Something To Happen.

To Snap Me Up From My Own Goddamn Fantasy.

Hey Little devil, Hear My Confession!

I Thought That I'm A Slow Starter. The One Type The Chill In The Back Observing Things Before Make Any Move. Trust Me, The Usual Me Just Dive In The Pool Without Even Thinking Twice. Now, I'm Kinda Like Slowing My Pace In Everything And Let Everything Seems Clear And Okay Before I Make My Move. I Guess I Am Nervous At Some Point Regarding The Situation. Not Shaking-My-Leg Nervous But Nervous Of Making Anymore Silly Mistakes That I Ended Up Wishing I Never Done. Well, Maybe What They Said Is Truth, People Changes As Age Keeping Up. Well, I Still Believe In The Concept Where Age Is Still Just A Number But I Just Realise That I Am Moving Up Alongside My Age. Maybe It's A Good Thing. Do I Really Want To Be Just The Same As I Am Before In The Future? Even I Don't Believe That. Or Is It Maybe I'm Just Not Ready To Face All The Changes, To Face The Facts That I Am Growing Up from Teenager To An Adult. They Said "21 Forever" But I Guess I Hate That Stupid Idea. I Don't Wanna Stay 21 Forever, It Just Seems Silly. Everbody Gotta Grow Up Sometimes, Even When They Don't Want It, They're Just Scare To Face The New Phase Of Life. Well, I Gotta Say, Bring In On LIFE!

NOW

I'm Here, Now. There's No Turning Back, Now. Its All Start Again Somehow, Now.. At Some Point I Wish I Could Go Back Rather Then Be Here, Now.Resemblance Of What Had Happened, I Hate It Here, Now. But I Can Never Go Back, I Am Stuck Here, Now. What Ever I Do, No Matter How Good It Is, It Can't Never Be As Good As Before Not As Whats Now.. Oh I Wish I Am Dreaming Right NOW!

A Baby Steps Is Still A Starting Point

“There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth...not going all the way, and not starting.”

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”

“All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.”

“So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin.”

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

Nuff Said

I Used To Pathetic, Waiting And Moaning For Someone Who I Don't Deserve. Well Girl, How's It's Felt Like Walking In My Shoe?

"selamat hari raya you.. i nak minta maaf ..i byk wat salah ngn u.. n sakitkan hati you. raya nanti jemput dtg rumah :("

p/s- I Ought To Be Angry!

Survive, Much The Same

We Live In A Dangerous World,
Somehow I Am Still Here.
Somehow, I Still Survived!

blur

Boredom Is Not A Feeling, Is A Disease, It Can Spread To Other. Better Watch Your Back Bro!

Truth

She's Dead. Its For Real This Time.. R.I.P ayen

Keep On Speaking Up Moron!

People Speak Their Mind, What Ever They Wanna Say, About Anything They Wanna Say About, And Thanks To Technology, They Can Say It Out Loud Through A Lot Of Source And Network. But Yet Again, Do They Have The Right To Talk Or Give Their Very Own Opinion About Anything. Not To Discriminate, But What Qualify Them To Give Out Certain Perspective About Certain Topic? Do Their Specialize In That Area? Do Their Hold Any Sort Of Certificate To Prove That They Have The Knowledge And BackGround Good Enough To Allow Them To Speak Up? In Term Of Freedom Of Speech, Yeah They Should Speak out Their Thought. Let 'em Be. The Only Corcerning Matters Is That, The Party Involve In People's Conversation Or Criticism, But Must Smart Enough Not To Be Influence By Those Who Gave Their Comment. Let Them Critics, Let Them Condemn, Let Them Say All The Bad Thing, Just Know This, "Thing Will Be Chaos Is Its Not According To Plan, People Will Start Panicking." If Thing Do Not Fall Into The Plan, Just Try Harder The Next Time Around. Don't Let Any Orthodox Thinker Bring You Down Out Of Your Game.

p/s- People Say That K. Rajagobal Should Vacant The Post As National Coach. Hmm....