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He Walk Among Us, But He's Not One Of Us

January 13, 2011

It Takes Failure And Sacrifice To Be A Better Bastard

Back in the day, when I was just a kid, teenager perhap, I choose to believe that I don't give any craps about the future and what it got hold on me (I still do at some point). But today, i snapped. Really really snapped! Wanna know why? Because I just realise I've arrange or plan my life for the next 8 month. Yeah, seriously plan out everything. Everything I wanna do and all the thing I have to achieve or at least put my heart out and die trying to achieve. What make it a lot difference this time between my life now, and my life 14 days ago? (when the calendar still showing the year of 2010)

At first I don't know what change me. But now, I know. I've fail! Fail in term of life, love and keeping everything on board. Yes, I'd crush to the down earth and reached the lowest part of life that everybody afraid to dealt with, I've been there. And now, I am in a process of getting my life back on track or at least not as doom as I imagine it will be. Guess what, slowly and steadily, I was able to do so. My life aint seem so fuck up as it was 14 days ago. It is now on track based on the par that I've set for myself, and yes I am proud of myself. Well, I guess now i know what it takes to change me to a better person, a well organise person. FAILURE. I faced it myself, and it snap me out of my fairytale dream and knock me out of my shoes so that i can keep up the pieces and make it whole again. That's what I'm doing right now, preparing myself to become somebody, an responsible to himself adult. I'm not saying that it isn't a bumpy road, cause it is hell of a situation, but i got through it, barely. I am now got what it takes. I am ready. Adulthood, bring it on!

p/s- In the matter of all this, I lost one precious thing but I seem okay with the fact that I loose it, and I am doing better without you. So, bye bye black bird!

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