Burden

Life's Burden, I Can Carry,
But Not This One.
Its Too Much For Me.
Family Means Everything.
But I Can Do Nothing

....

Jom Blk Penang!



p/s- berbuat budi berbalas body*dlm maksud dia*

Apa Itu Hari Raya?

aku dha try bukak kamus carik (ya la tuh), xjumpa pun definition hari raya so aku guna ja la understanding aku pasai hari raya. ikut experience aku, xla byk cuma dah 19 tahun celebrate raya, okay based on my exp hari raya is shopping for new cloths n outfits, baju kurung labuh la, cekak pinggang la baju emlayu johr kedah klantan sabah suma adala la. lagi raya ialah about makan2 n open house, visiting relatives suma kwn2 yg jarang2 kita jumpa. raya gak bout ketupat rendang naisk himpit lemang dan makanan yg seantero dgn aktegori2 ni yg hanya wujud setahun dan semusim skali. apa lagi makna hari raya? duit raya? ha3, wajid.bermaaf-maafan? kewajipan dah. is this what i really wanna write? WRONG!!

raya? bermaaf-maafan? kenapa nak tunggu ari raya bru nak mintak maaf n lenapa nak tggu raya baru nak memaafkan seseorang? ayat2 ni konpem familiar bila seseorg tu dah wronged someone else. "xpa. raya ni aku mintak la maap kat dia".. kalu kita masuk kubuq dulu before sempat mintak maaf cmna? so it raya is all about forgiving n forgetting?

makan2? cmon la. this is malaysia. malaysian apa2 celebration pun musti ada makan2 punya. malaysian dah sinonim dha dgn makan2 n open house ni. suma nak grand2 suma jenis makanan nak wat? last2 xabih kenapa semau makanan tu pi? tong sampah dan menjadik santapan kucing dan anjing jalanan gak kan?

shopping? napa bila hari raya ja baru la suma shopping complex nk buat mega sale gila2 babi? n apa signifikasi menyambut hari raya dgn membeli baju baru, kasut baru, sluaq baru dan suma yg baru2 belaka? xble ke nak beli time2 len? itukah raya? shopping? oh ya shopping utk hias rumah? mak aih, xmau2 pny shopping. courts mammot n company2 penghutang yg sejenis dgnnnya time2 ni la nak set trap perangkap org ramai suro beli produk2 yg depa juai. "60 hari tanpa bayaran".. wah gran sial promotion depa. yg tersirat, interest 15%, xplak depa ckp dlm flyers depa n iklna2 kat TV. last2 suma end up utang gila babi sbb nak grand time raya.

apa lagi maksud hari raya? ziarah menziarahi? kenapa x amalkan sikap sentiasa menziarahi adik bradik or mak pak kat kampung slalu bukan just time ari raya. jumap barang seminggu dua time raya, pastu memang ken atggu raya taun depan plak r baru jumpa plak muka2 tu suma. kdg konpem terjadik pny situasi ni, "eh, la kak peah dah besaq dah anak2 kak peah".. dan soalan2 yg mmg aku dah bosan borink meluat org akan tny bila time raya is "laa kat peah, anak kak peah watpa la ni?" "study kat mana?" "result cmna?" paling xtahan "anak kak peha yg mana satu, laaa dah besaq dah noo"*mmg r dah besaq ang jumpa pun setaun skali* "sapa yg anak sulung ni kak peah oii?".. tiap2 tahun dimasa hari raya, di kala open house, di masa ziarah menziarah, dikala memakai baju baru, soalan2 cepumas ni slalu kluaq n seriesly aku dah bosan nak jawap. tiap2 tahun tny n ulang benda yg sama. depa ni xborink ka huh? ka xreti nak take note ka bila org dah bagitau skali tuh?

arent u guys sick of the same shits that happen all over again, over n over again, every year, everytime when hari raya stop by? smalam aku bukak folder pics raya aku n seriesly aku xble bezakan mn pic raya tahun lepaih n pics raya dua tahun lepaih sbb bend ayg sma berulang2. situasi yg sama, keadaan yg sama, muka2 yg sama, makanan yg sama, gaya yg sama? dah 19 tahun aku celebrate raya xdak satu yg yg berbeza dari yg laen. sebijik mcm edit guna laptop tukaq tahun ja kat atas. org ckp benda ni tradisi sbb tu kiat dok buat.. hello, its malaysian tradition. sorry nothing against hari raya, just wanna spill my thought. maybe as i grow older teh magic of raya aint spreading around me no more. lastly, selamat hari raya semua, maaf zahir dan batin

Tottenham Hotspurs Vs Manchester United

result 3-1
Man U Menang.
naseb r kan.

Fuck Arsenal!

Sorry la abah, GUnners kalah r. kena tibai 4-2 plak tuh. xpa2, try again next match, ahaks. skrg tgh match Man U Ngn Hotspurs. sorry ManU. aku Sokong Hotspurs.

Fuck M

It’s all started with a lil’ confession
What in the world will it ever lead to love?
Stupidity blind the true feeling
Maybe it’s not worth it once I thought
I slipped it away fighting for the chance
Proving myself to one who won’t give a damn
Giving it all hearts still paying the price

Aren’t you sweet my lil princess?
Gets all the attention reflect of my image
A reputation takes a lifetime to build, crash and burn
Still that not the main concerns
What you do care?
It’s not you who been laugh at
It’s me, the dumbest ever
A badass with no brains
Yeah, that is me
Putting a big fake smile to the world
Let them see me laughing, joking, and smiling
The pain won’t be seen
Sure it won’t, don’t you worry about it
But the heart is dying
Dead and dry

Another try maybe?
No, I had enough
At least for now
But the world will be stop seeing me
That’s an oath
Wake up Adam
There’s plenty fish in the sea
Sure you can catch one
Once your “rebuild-your-heart” projects it done

You Will Be The Death Of Me

My V blood runs in your entire body
It worth killing for cause it’s extraterrestrial purely
You sucked it deep and you want it badly
I drain mine out for you cause that what you deserve gravely

I’m a vampire, that’s just who I will ever be
But weird enough you cause you are physic wannabe
We Being Together aren’t too bizarre To Believe
Once our World Collide, There’s nothing to live

Night is my plays morning is my shits
When the sun blaze for damn sure I’ll be hit
Silver is my weakness, fight it just like maths to geek
Who cares that’s all I got, the only reason I take the big leap

I’ll walk through the sun even if I know it’ll burn me till death
Only for you my love, unspokenly more or less
I don’t have a heart to give but still I wanna confess
But love conquers all in the course of clean or mess

You will be the death of me
Even that I once had live
You will be the death of me
Even if I am too far to reach
You will be the death of me
And you will be the one who live
You will be the death of me
Even it isn’t for you to see
You will be the death of me
Even if I am breathing
Sookie Stackhouse,
You,
You will be the death of me.

p/s- Tribute To Tru Blood Season 01 TV series.

Tales Of A Senseless Heart

Hati Ini Kotor,

Tak Layak Untuk Kau Pegang.

Hati Ini Hitam,

Tak Layak Untuk Kau Simpan.

Hati Ini Penuh Dengan Tar,

Tak Layak Untuk Dekat Dengan Hati Kau.

Hati Ini Pesong,

Tak Layak Untuk Meluruskan Kau.

Hati Ini Sesat,

Tak Layak Untuk Membimbing Kau.

Hati Ini Rapuh,

Tak Mampu Untuk Menanggung Derita.

Namun,

Hati Ini Gersang,

Kepingin Memiliki Hati Kau.

Hati Ini Keras,

Masih Mahu Mencuba.

Hati Ini Degil,

Terus Memberi Walau DiLanyak-lanyak.

Hati Ini Cekal,

Gagah Untuk Menanggung Sakit.

Hati Ini Bebas,

Mampu Membelah Awan Biru

Tapi,

Hati Ini,

Mahu Di Lanyak Berulang-Ulang.

Mahu Jatuh Berkecai Bak Kaca.

Mahu Kalah Pada Yang Sama.

Mahu Diterjah Berkali-Kali.

Mahu Di hina Dan Di Keji.

Mahu Di Sepak Dan Di Terajang.

mahu Jatuh Tersungkur Dan Terkangkang.

Juga,

Mahu Di Kurung Dekat Dengan Kau.

Mahu Di Lekat Hampir Dengan Kau.

Mahu Jatuh Cinta Pada Kau.

How Well Do You Recycle?- Ambik Dari Eny

HOW WELL YOU RECYCLE?


1.Do you recycle?

A)Yes(Please proceed to the next question)
B)No(Please state why)

A- aku juia paper kat lori yg slalu lalu dpan umah kira recycle r gak kan

2.How important is recycling to you?

A)Very imporant
B)Fairly important
C)Not very important
D)Not at all important

C- a very honest answer ni.

3.Which of these statements best describes your attitude towards recycle?

A)Recycle even if it requires additional effort
B)Recycle if it does not require additional effort
C)Recycle to get some extra money
D)Don't know

C-money minded la katakan


4.How would you normally find out the information about recycling?

A)Internet
B)Radio/TV
C)Newspaper
D)Leaflet
E)Roadshow/Campaign
F)Local community
G)Noticeboard/Billboard

B- hot.fm kan ada iklan pasai recycle kan


5.Do you know what pre-recycling is?

A)Do not buy anything at all
B)Reduce tha packaging of trash/rubbish
C)Always use own bags when shopping
D)No idea

D-seriesly xtaw


6.Do you ask for/take a bag when buying small things?
eg.candy,chewing gum,mineral water,etc...

A)Yes
B)No

B- mengada2 r beli chewing gum pn nak plastik gak.


7.What do you recycle?

A)Paper
B)Glass
C)Tin/Aluminium
D)Plastic
E)Others

A-surat khabar lama!surat khabar lama(dlm sleng cina)

8.How do you recycle?

A)Put the recycleable items into the correct bins provided
B)Go to the recycling centre
C)Give the recycleable items to someone who collects them
D)Wait for the recycle items to be collected

D-skali lg, honest answer.

9.How often do you recycle?

A)Everyday
B)Weekly
C)Fortnightly
D)Monthly
E)Depends on the recycleable items quantity

E- umah aku bkn slalu beli paper.


10.Overall,how would you rate your recycling?

A)Excellent
B)Good
C)Average
D)Poor

D-honest answer skali lg.

11.Gender

A)Male
B)Female

C-none of the above.aku kunsa.ahaks

12.Age

A)18
B)19
C)20
D)21 and above

B- still teen okay

20th Burfday Wish

mak aih baru celebrate bday 5 bulan lepaih aku dah ada bday wish dah, dasat tol aku ni. ha3.
so, utk bday aku next year aku nak poetry book. bukan novel, tapi books of poem. anyone whta willing to buy me that?

Tru Blood

skrg ini, sbb terlalu lama utk tggu cita2 TV series favorite aku di-season-barukan. cita2 seperti How I Met Your Mother(bulan depan season 5), Chuck (bulan depan season 3), Supernatural (bulan depan season 5), Lost(TAHUN depan season 6, mak aih lambat gila), My Name Is Earl (xdak confirmation lg bila season 5 nak tayang), The Office (season 6 next month) prison break (oo lupa dah abih dah cita ni), n of cos terpaksa tulih cita ni , Gossip Girl (aku xcheck pun lagi bila season 3nak kluaq). okay start dr bulan july i guess suma cita ni abih dlm masa yg agak serentak so aku terpaksa carik cita baru untk mengisi masa lapang aku. n guess what the new TV series yg aku tgh layn is TRU BLOOD. behs kot cita ni. cita pasai vampire maintreaming n poeple is trying to accept the vampire into the human community. n then one vampire bill compton felt in love a human, sookie stackhouse. besh cita ni. love,sex,violence uncensoring fun n explicit. season 2 dah kluaq dah tapi still xsempat abih download g. try ar layan cita ni, besh, tapi spoiler alert, TV series ni 18SX okay.

THis Will Be The Last Post AboutYou, Ms SIBHI

okay, this will be the last post ever, i will be mentioning bout u Ms SIBHI, yeas, i noe u r reading this. guess what, i do get saf approval for our so called " futuristic engagement", n thats all i need. my besfren approval so the future wedding is on, if all the terms n regulations of our deal is fullfilled. so u better bring our A game sista, cuz i will be bring mine. see you in 20 year my dear.

Ms SIBHI

Ms SIBHI..
Ms SIBHI..
who r u??
everyone wanna know..
but i make a oath.
so im not gonna tell!..
gudluck searching guys!

The Proposal

wow! believe me or not, i did popped out the question. seriesly! im not kidding around.suprisingly, she said yes! guess what, i do have a wife in the waiting man! ahaks. wait2! does that make that i have a fiancee now? wow! wanna know how i propose? here how it goes.

"Ms. SIBHI, will do do me the honor of being my back up wife?"

n she answered

"yes! i do!"

what a sec. what is back up wife u might ask. well, i n her make a deal if in the future 28 years from now to be exact, when i turn 39 n she turn 40, if i still single n looking, n shes the same, we will tight the knot with each other. well it not a lost cause. it just sort of a back up plan. well, i mena if im already 39, theres be nothing left for me, all my friend probably already married, im to old for be doing all the craps im been doing now so i better make a back up plan for that rite so thats how the deal was make. n she agreed! we shook hand. so now, i dun hav eto worried about the future if only still single.ha3. crazy huh? its pretty great if u think deep though.

p/s- im not gonna tell who is Ms. SIBHI is.

Dari Tanjung Dawai Ke Seberang Jaya Ke RnR Sg Dua

Bukak Posa Di Tanjung Dawai Mlm Plak Gi Karoke Kat Seberang Jaya Pastu Lepak N Buang Masa Kat RnR Sunagi Dua Sampai Soq.

Is It Just Me, Or The World Is Stop Spinning?

Im just blanked. i realised the major changes about myself but i just sit back n do nothing. this semester is my fourth semester, 2 more to go till i grad as diploma holder, but im not behaving or even acting to be as a diploma student. what teh hell man? yes i not, im not a very hardworking type but stil, i try to push myself to the extend where i thought i can handle. obviously, i cant. im just the sam eold aCe+ who skip skool, skip tuition, prepared not even 40% to face the big dman examination.so, whats else? what else do u want to fuck up about ur self? maybe i am making a wrong decision by taking this diploma shits. maybe i should just follow my heart back then, i am doing so damn well in the working reality check business. at least i am standing on my own feet n survive on my own. but now, what the hell? i vene have to call my mum for money to buy some big ass book which i noe im not gonna read it.so whats the point of being a student then? plus, what do i'd done here as a student? study? ha3. impossible. enjoying? yes! hanging out? yes! wasting my student loan money? yes! killing my brain cell? yes! so what the hell? maybe CHUCK was right after all. "follow your heart, your brain just gonna screw everything up.". yes, i totally agree with chuck statement. yes, just follow our heart though, our smart brain just gonna come out with a lot of solution, a lot of stats figure to mess around the situation, so just follow your heart, cuz there is where the love. i just hope is still not too late for me to turn around nad make everything rite. but though, i dunno what i want. till then, i just gonna follow the flow and sit tight. for now, im just waiting for the moment n i am living for the moment

The Girl With A Lonely Soul

I'm sitting down in a corner.lighting up a ciggy"s"..i look around.plain ol simple.nothing change.nothing new. my sight lock on one corner..a girl. typical looking.lonesome.like waiting for someone. few mins later, she move. to the other corner.still.depressed.lonely. i puff the final smoked. couraged myself to approach her. this is what happen.

"hye, sorang ja?"
"*dead silence*"
"resah semacam ja, tggu orang ke?"
"*still.. dead silence but she look cool with it*"
"jgn risau. satgi dia mai la"
"*looking at me n say*- angenal dia ka?"
"*aku wat2 taw jawap*- kenal sgt. member dah lama dah"
"apsal dia babi sgt hah?"
"awat plak?"
"ni dah kali ke tiga kot dia tinggai aku camni"
"dia ada hai kot"
"palahotak r.aku taw sgt mana dia pi. mesti tgh bromen ngn betina tuh"
"ala, bukan dia sengaja"
.........

i thought she was talking bout her boyfriend or what, but it turn out that shes talking bout her daddy. ha3. disguise? thats my style!


p/s- aku xngorat pun minah tu okay. just nak brief conversation. aku ni kan suka wat kawan.ahaks

Cold Hard Fact About My Family, TAKE NOTE DR MAHATHIR MOHAMAD

tregerak hati aku nak tulih something lepaih baca blog dr. chedet.

"Your life makes interesting reading and so is your outlook on life. Long ago many poor Chinese gave their children to Malay families, which is why we often see many Malays who look like Chinese."

bukan nak memangkah kata2 dr. chedet tapi just nk voice out opinion aku. xsuma poor chinese gave their children to malay families due to poverty, some just giving them away just like a toy give just the child aint the gender they want.. thats fact!! wanna prove? this is the cold hard truth. the story of my life! the story of the outcast!!

take my family for big goddamn example. mummy aku mmg darah chinese, dilahirkan dlm keluarga chinese, kluaq dari rahim sorang chinese, tapi dihulurkan kepada keluarga angkat mummy aku yg berketurunan melayu. why? kenapa? sbb diorang miskin? sbb xmampu nak bela anak sbb xmampu nak bagi makan? GUESS AGAIN!! NO! the main reason why they give away my mum for adoption is only because she is a girl, n for chinese a boy child is far far better than a girl. poverty? aint teh question. diorang ada 9 anak kalau campuq mummy aku n diorang mampu nk bela suma tapi still gave my mum away. ay mungkin kalau mummy aku sorang ja yg dipinggirkan utk dibela oleh keluarga melayu ble la kita sangkal tapi cuba bayangkan mummy aku ada sorang lagi adik pompuan yg dilahirkan dari keluarga yg sama, chinese, tapi diberikan juga kepada keluarga melayu. poverty again? nah! sbb adik mummy aku tuh baby gir,sbb tu kena bagi kat keluarga melayu, sbb diorang xmau bela anak pompuan. apadahal kalu nk guna alasan miski, lepaih mummy aku lahir dna diberi kepada keluarga melayu, ada sorang baby boy dilahirkan dan depa simpan baby tuh n then bila ada baby pompuan len lahir diorang bagi kat orang? thats fact! nak cakap pasai msikin n poverty? keluarga angkat yg aku pggl family skrg ni diorang 10 kali lg miskin dr keluarga chinise yg buang mummy aku stil depa survive, still depa able to make it through, susah sehat2 belaka, slamat sampai besaq. apa lagi alasan untuk buang anak?

jangan sesekali cakap kat aku yg bagi anak kat org len len atas alasan miski. family aku miskin, xpenha jadik masalah utk kami survive teh life of this pathetic world. we make it through just fine. itu bezanya kami dgn depa. apa diorang igt ababy2 tu mainan kat pasar malam, ble maen bagi2 jew kat org. it a life form motherfucker n u guys should be the one u got kill. cuz thats what u guys really deserve! u guys dun deserve to live, u guys just another pathetic motherfucker u cnat handle the pressure of life, so u guys give up n hold down ur sword rather than keep on fighting! fuck u guys! till the end of my life, i'll fuck all of u, u son of bitches pathetic dogs!!!

maybe korang yg baca ni xkn paham apa yg aku rasa, sbb bukan hampa yg dlm situasi ini.. cmna outcastnya aku rasa bila dipinggirkan cmni. nak kata fmaily anak yg bela mummy aku baek, ya diorang mmg baek tapi bukan suma ikhlas sayang kami sbg ahli keluarga. sestgh ja yg betul2 kasih kat kami, ya la akn kami ni org terbuang, mana ble nak ckp byk. xdak hak utk bersuara. tapi kami xbyk komplen, kami terima naseb kami seadanya. kami redha. kami enjoy semana yg boleh. kami xkomplen. sbb tu aku maki kak aku bila dia kata yg dia nak carik balik family chinese yg buang mak aku dulu, what the fuck noor hawa? org dha buang kita watpa kita nak terhegeh2 carik balik depa? u xdak maruah ka? org dha xmau kita, watpa kita nak pi kat depa? sedaq ckit diri tu, kita ni org terbuang, golongan yg org xmau, watpa kita nak carik depa? biaq la depa mai sujud pun kat kaki mummy, i xkan sesekali bagi chance utk depa mai n sentuh fmaily kita. never gonna happen. ist suck i noe, but we r better off without any of those motherfuckers. we'll survive just fine!!

sincerely,
Adam Ar-Rashid Bin Mohamad Rasdi


p/s- walau hina mana pun bangsa aku, aku tetap berbangga utk panggil diri aku melayu sbb sehina2 melayu, melayu tetap bela anak xkira laki ke pompuan n melayu xpenah buang anak just sbb dia pompuan. ya, aku melayu walau kulit aku putih, ya aku melayu malau mata aku sepet, ya aku melayu walau ada darah cina yg mengalir dlm badan aku, sampai mati pun aku xkan mengaku yg aku cina. n lepaih ni jgn tanya pasai pa aku xmau blajaq mandarin sbb watpa aku nk ckaap bahasa org sedangkan aku melayu!

Dead Silence

"Dead Silence". a situation where we kept our mouth shut when each soul aspect us to be the one who voice out a lot. why some might ask? why choose to be the low tone while u shoudl be the spoken one. well my dear, not all word needs to be shared with everyone. soem of the thought should be just to our inner self so that it wont smoke the air while its already been poisoning everyone else. why add the pain, while be can be the cure of the disease? but as we look on teh other perspective, being the silence of the crowd may seem as cowardly act to some one else, aint it? but, who cares rite? like saf said, this is malaysia, a democratic country, we can choose to be anyone we one, as long as it in teh rite path, not crossing any boarder. from now on, i will tried to be the silence one. u know why, cuz all my life, i'd alway be the one who react on any situation n guess what, i'll make things worst then ever. so now, i will retreat, lay back, revise the situation before i make any move. i keep in the line there i wont be pissed n its good. wish me luck okay!

Empty!