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He Walk Among Us, But He's Not One Of Us

July 7, 2010

This Is Real Life, And It Just Kick My Ass

In life there are two simple choice. A-give up and leave or B-Stand up and fight. to be frank, i am at the junction between both. i dunno whether i should just give up n raise my middle finger to all of you at leave this shithole once n for all because its only bring me misery and pain which i'd reach to a point where i cant endured it any longer. but apart of me wanna keep on fighting because im such in closer motion to the finish line. im almost there. the only thing that bring me down is the fucking "injury". so, will i suck it up, pull myself together n stand to finish this godforsaken race or just raise my white flag? i dunno. there nothing much left in my cup. i havent find the courage to summon the fighting spirit. i am so close to giving still hanging. which also mean i havent given up yet. which mean, im still in the game, im still in the race. fuck others even if they finish first before me, because where i come from, my hood teach be to be a fighter not a Bacul. winning is another scenario, its just an extra credit, what important is finishing what u have started. thats how i was raised. but im no longer sweet childish innoncence boy such 10 years ago. i'd grown. i'm learned. some of the experience which i collected along the way is that sometimes given up is not an act of cowardness, its the smart way to survive, to still be in the war eventhough you surrendered the battle. so, what say me decision? nah i havent decided. im still waiting.

p/s-lucky for me, shes there all the time to pick up my broken pieces n combined it together to make me whole again.

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