Ciggys,Ciggys,Ciggys

Blur.. in this situation, ciggys help me.

Confused.. in this situation, ciggys help me.

Lost.. In This sitaution, ciggys help me.

ATC, ciggys is my no.1 killer n my lonely guardian..

PrintScreen Tagged

1) Anda perlu printscreen wallpaper anda yang tengah gune skang...

2) Bgtau nape anda suke wallpaper anda ituhh...

+sbb ni pic aku ngn bestie aku saf.. he3. actually ptg td aku pakai walpaper len, bru ja tukaq td rite b4 wat tagged ni. coinsidence? nah, simple luck. walpaper b4 ni pic "angel.." kot.haha.. naseb r kan. i guess her identity is stil under the radar huh? just wait ok. until the rite moment.he3+

3) Tag 10 people...

+sapa2 yg baca post ni+

There's No Such Thing As Free Lunch

i know thta u r reading my blog. u noe u do. i noe that u noticed all the hate entry, fuck u entry dat i created specially for u, i noe u upset reading it before, but one thing for sure, u never stop trying before, so why stop now? if its true what u just said before this, if its a real heart confession, if u really admit ur mistakes n really willing to sacrifice it all to make it rite this time, why bother bout it now? or maybe its just my thought, are u trying to find another excuse? i think u r, again dun bother cuz i didnt put so much hope on u,FYI. so, u better get cracking. u dun ur time line.let me see whatcha got.let put all the talks into action, let see how different things gonna be this time. no more ignorance, no more screenplay, no more drama, truth cold truth, straight flush talk. r u ready for it? r u realy up to it? cuz seriesly, i stood by on solid ground now. u gotta noe where ur stand too. fool me once shame on u, fool me twice, shame on me. u wont let u fool me this time. like saf said, everybody deserve a second chance, so im giving it to u.prove urself this time. i really wanna see the effort though. cuz, whatever whereever whenever we stand before, u aint trying hard before. make it rite this time. can u? or stil trust gonna be the issue here huh? wow! one cold hard fact here dat u need to learning, u dun have the rite to make a judgement call here. i am. the power within me okay. thats the fact. i am the one whose gonna judge, im the one who gonna make that call, not u. i am giving u a chance but sploiler alert, its not dat easy as its used to be.i have to work ur ass through to get back to what we used to stand. try hard. too harsh? yes of course. theres no such thing as free lunch okay. u gotta earn ur lunch in life.thats the fact u have to accept. too hard? too complicated? too annoying? to many things? THEN LEAVE! FOR GOOD

p/s-preserve whatcha have, stand guard on what u giving...

Apa ni??

apa actually yg ang nak ni? tetiba ja.. out of nowhere? u popped out from darkness once light my life towards better, but then u left me hanging in this cruel jungle, just when i survived on my own, u come back, trying to take credit from everything? that simple huh? i never forget, not a tiny lil detail ok, so back off!! the only things that keep my contacting with u its just that i once said that we still can be frens, dun make me take it back.. remember that?

Hidup Ini Tak Palat, Manusia Yang Memalatkannya

setuju? ntah, tgk keadaan.

Screw It, Fuck Me!

Argh.. well sapa yg penah kata ambik diploma senang meh aku dah sepak trajang dia!!!(rasa2nya ni dah dekat sepuluh kali aku tulih cmni).. seriesly, aku xconfident yg aku ble bagi dapat pointer aku 3.22 sem ni. seriesly! aku target nk bg dapat B utk paper PAD230-current issues in mesia tapi nmpk gayanya hanya tinggai harapan ja la.but, its okay, at least i tried. i did tried, it just wasnt enough. xpa, pasni aku ada paper bel, jgn r ada frustation lg/ish2/ bel aku target A-, ble k? we'll see...

Hidup Ini Memang Palat, Trima Ja La

*HABIS MADU SEPAH DIBUANG*

senang ja kan org yg berkemampuan untuk membuat pilihan dlm idup ni kan. they noe whats ahead of them, depa dah taw future cmna, diorang taw diorang stil ada opportunities laen kalau gagal dlm idup, so they always take things for granted. "xkesah la kalau gagal ****** pun, ###### tgh tggu aku".. wow! senang la hampa kan. bersyukurlah. sbb bkn suma org dpt peluang cam hampa. bukan suma org bernaseb baek cam hampa.hard luck huh? mungkin mustahil bg sesetgh org yg realistik tapi bagi diorang, itulah kenyataan. haha. aku xjeles tapi kadang2 bebai. cmon la kalau xmau dari awai xpyh r ambik, jgn ada istilah cuba2, n then last2 quit. kesian kat org yg xdpt peluang cm hampa. org len pun layak utk mengecapi peluang mcm hampa, cuma hampa pny luck baek ckit dr diorang.. but in the end, u guys quit.. n leave ur spot empty cuz by now no one can fill it. huh..cm aku ckp, just bebai, geram, marah ckit. sbb aku taw aku dr mana. asal aku. org besa. org yg plain.. byk lg member2 aku yg xberpeluang mcm aku, end up just stil plain, normal. ni hampa yg dpt, nk lepas cmtu ja. cuba pikiq, kalau tmpat hampa tu org len yg duduk, org yg mengharap, depa akan berusaha bersungguh2 kot. tapi pa bel aku wat, its their choices, n for those who unlucky enough maybe ur time to shine is in other style or alternative. just dun give up. go for it.. napa aku ckp cmni? napa aku defend sgt golongan2 plain ni? sbb aku dari takuk tu.. aku asal dr situ, i am who i am today cuz of that type of life. it teach me how to live n survive.aku plain, aku xpandai sgt, aku x extraordinary mcm sesetgh org, tapi aku menghargai n bersyukur dgn apa yg aku dapat. segala peluang yg aku dpt aku grap. ya, aku xperfect aku pun maen2 gak, aku pun repeat paper gak tapi aku xgagal.. aku xhampakan sapa2. i am stil in the fight n i do not wannna give up. i will not. sbb aku dah rasa sendri kekecewaan dr kegagalan. aku taw, aku experience sendri..ntah aku pun xtaw apa aku cuba nk sampaikan ni. rasa nk tulih aku tulih r. cam yg aku slalu ckp r kan, life aint sweet, get a helmet!

A.P.A.K.A.T.A.H.A.T.I.?.

Hati.Dan.Perasaan.Mana.Boleh.Dibendung.Kalau.Macamana.Pun.Kita.Cuba.Untuk.Tolak.Ia.Jauh.

Dari.Diri.Kita.Ia.Akan.Tetap.Datang.Jangan.Uji.Ia.Apapun.Keadaan.Mahupun.Kesinambungannya.

Kita.Haruslah.Menhadapinya.Kerana.Kadangkadang.Ia.Amat.Berbaloi.Tak.Salah.Mencuba.Tapi.

Pastikan.Niat.Dan.Tujuannya.Untuk.Kebaikan.Bersama.Cinta.Datang.Terima.Saja.Itu.Hakikat.

Yang.Membezakan.Antara.Semua.Ialah.Apa.Yang.Bakal.Terjadi.Di.Penghujungnya.Samada.Cinta.

Tidak.Hanya.Bertepuk.Sebelah.Tangan.Aku?.Masih.Menunggumu.Wahai.Bidadariku.

A Thin Line v3

this time this thin line is between B & L..

n its a choice that i have to make..

not now, im not even sure whether im gonna ever come to the situation where i have to make that choice but still its pretty clear.

to be honest, i dun have the answer yet, not now, not in this time frame..

when the time comes, i really wanna choose both but, i dunno if i can do it..

well, lets just hope that i make a rite call when the time come okay, wish me luck

out

Hard Cold Truth

"Once A JackASS always a JackASS"

yup.. one of my sorority bro, "X" said this stuff as for my burfday wish last few days. i want to drop in hard but its kept on messing with my head afterwards, till now it still.let me make it clear. my sorority bros, well a few of them had planned out a big big burfday suprised for me. any guesses? yes, full of hardcore, punk live band, alcohol, girls, crazy stuff, stuff that i havent been updated since i changed myself.. well, before this, i already made a few changes of my life before i planned this new changes that i wanna make. its succeed. bax to the story. i refused n didnt go to that burfday party. n they called me, texted me, fucked me cuz of it. n thats how this above statement popped out. X called me n i picked up. X rumbled bout why i didnt showed up to the party n i explained. he laughed his ass out. "another changes, bro? cmon!" "Once a JACKASS, always a JACKASS, bare that in mind bro!".. well, for that own reason i lost many2 of my frens. cuz of the changes that i wanna make. cuz of the maturity of thinking that i wanna go for. its like a a piece of me die along with the changes. as u can recall, thats the reason why i kept on calling penang HellHole. cuz it turn up the bad in me.i took a lot of gud value of out me. i tried, for god sake i tried.. well, since the incident that happen with F (read below entry) a fillty thought popped out. maybe X was rite.. i am a badass, n i'll always be a badass. dats just the facts that i have to learn, the hard way. i wanna changed, i really do, but it take to much , a lot of sacrifices to make.. maybe im not ready. maybe i cant.maybe its true dat i am resist to change.maybe its not the time.maybe i dun really have a gud reason for changes my own path. or maybe it is my path to be a jackass. saf, sorry. i tried my besh. i did try. but i think i wont happened. maybe another time.out!

p/s- i havent make a decision yet, stil under consideration though.

Reality Is Everything, Perception Mean Nothing

first of all, im not gonna make any excuses regarding any of my action dat i'd done, but still let me remind u, i am who i am, make action may sometime overshadow my "sweet" appearance but stil that just who i am. and for u babe, thanks for stood up for me, really thanks but u dont have to do it seriesly, its something that i did n now i have to pay the consequences.as for u, F hmmm.. actually im speechless. i dunno wat to say.. wow, u should feel proud cuz u r one of teh few that can make me speechless. as ussualy, i tried to find an excuse to make but then i realize.. why should i? i did what i did, n at the time i really wanna do it. im not defending my action cuz though me myself dunno why i did it in the first place cuz its soo damn long ago.. again another reminder, i didnt aspect this cuz u'll never in my circle before so maybe, i say maybe thats why i did what i did.

hm.. well lets face it F. i noe u r in the process of evolution. u r changing urself toward something big n better tahn before. can u still recall how r u before this changes? i have to admit u r doing great now, after the changes n i dun really like the old u but i do like the new u.. n remember, dat thing happened before this changes.so, maybe, again just maybe thats why i did what i did.i kinda dun like the old u...

wait r sec.. i kinda recall something.. yeah, its a gud one F.. remember last sem? u noe u do.."raise ur middle finge r n say FUCK U". remember that babe? well, first n foremost i didnt did it. annything that i thoight ive done. but i do know who Mr.K is.. seriesly i know him.. n i noe why he did it.. like i said, no one like the old u babe.but still, im kinda mad at u u noe, before this.cuz u just popped out with an assumption saying that i did it without any hesitation..wow, how dats huh? yes i noe all the evident point out at my chest cuz i invented that tagline but still dun u have any thought, even a lil that said im innocent n i dunno anything bout it. yeah at first i dunno anything u u just bang me like that. wow.. how cool? babe, next time if u wanna blame someone at least have a nerve by telling whatnot he had done. at least do that ok.. cuz, i am innocence in this matter, n at that time me myself pissed off at ya..n how cna u just leave it like that n after awhile when a new semester bout to start u just shout at my blog a text off -like-nothing-happened-between-us ? n then when we flip by face to face u just acted like nothing happened? wow! really wow.. but then, as me myself in a process of evolving myself toward a better life, i dropped it. i just follow the flow.acted like nothing happened.cuz i really dun like to fight with anyone. do u recall any of this?

well, last but not least, well i really dunno what else to write, so that it..

p/s- please read the post JANGAN POST INI, KALAU HIDUP IN SATU KONGKONGAN to get a closure look into me.

Welcome To Paradise!

Wel,Im bax In Merbok!

So Long....

bye2 Penang.. aCe+ out! merbok, kedah, im back!!! only for few weeks.then im back to this hellhole. i kinda like it though. well, so long

JANGAN BACA NI, KALAU HIDUP INI HANYA KONGKONGAN!

AKU ADA RUANG SENDIRI,

JANGAN TANYA KENAPA & MENGAPA,

DEWASA ADALAH ASET AKU,

CERIA SELALU HINGGA KE TAHAP MAKSIMAS,

TERBANG BERSAMA AKU,

JANGAN TUDUH AKU JAHAT SEBELUM KENAL,

AKU TAHU APA YANG AKU BUAT,

TAPI KORANG TAKKAN PERNAH TAHU!,

HIDUP INI MESTI BEBAS,

MAKAN, MINUM, BERMAIN...

ATAU JANGAN BUAT APA-APA,

INI ADALAH KEHENDAK MAKSIMAS AKU..

TAPI DIHUJUNG MESTI ADA SEMPADAN,

INGAT ITU!!!!

Buckle Up, There's A War Comin'!

okay, this is it guys.im going bax to Merbok today, going bax to UiTM, going bax n finish what i've started. there a war comin'! n this time, im not going down without a fight, i'll fight in hell if i had to.. this is my redemption, this maybe my damnation but stil if im going down, im goin down swinging, im going down fighting my ass off. wish me luck..

p/s- ayat gempak2, padahal bukan apa pun, just nk get ready utk ambik final..ahaks

Happy Birthday Adam! Sweet 19!

first of all, aku nk ucapkan epy bday utk diri sendri.ye r asik2 org ja ucapkan. taun ni merupakan first time aku ucap happy bday utk diri sendri.. clische? try to look back. time bday korang penah x korang ucap kat diri sendri? jarang kan? so , HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM AR-RASHID BIN MOHAMAD RASDI, sweet 19.. actually, aku xsuka sgt celebrate burfday sbb its reminds me dat im getting old n i am one step closer to death. so, biaq r. maleh nk kupas lebih2. meh nk cita ckit. tepat jam 9.15 malam 17 april 1990 dekat Hospital Besaq Penang sorang baby seberat 3.25 kg telah Uwek! lahir ke dunia dgn matanya yg sepet n kulitnya yg agak putih suam2 kuku.ahaks. time tu la first time aku tgk dunia. org ckp sapa yg lahir malam ni ketegaq dia lebih keras.. mmg betui pun.. skrg genap dah umuq aku 19 tahun. tahun akhir sbg sorang remaja.ya, mcm yg aku ckp sblom2 ni aku nk brubah.dah dekat sebulan aku dok ckp, ciap ada wat kontrak lagi n saf ngn aku dah sain dah..tapi as time goes by, aku sedaq. i am a type of person that resist to change. tol x? susah aku nk brubah.. byk benda kalau aku dah stick mmg aku liat nk ubah benda tu. ambik benda simple dah r. limua ais ngn aiq kosong. benda common yg slalu aku oder time makan kat luaq.kalau x limau ais musti laici. tu ja. yup aku mmg kalau dah stick ngn satu benda it takes years for me to change that. sama ngn diri aku.. tapi itu xbermakna aku xkn brubah langsung.. aku akn berubah. tapi slow2.sejak perubahan ni dok lekat kat pala otak aku, benda pertama yg slalu mai ialah pasai drinking. benda tu yg aku nk ubah first. aku nk stop drinking n aku xkn sentuh dah benda haram tuh.yup, mmg dgq geli, tapi series cmon brapa ramai remaja yg drink kan? bukan nk kata aku heavy drinker tapi stil aku nk ubah benda tu.. bkn pa, xbaguih kot.plus, haram dr sisi agama. lagi benda yg aku nk ubah, prangai aku.prangai childish maybe blom nk ubah g, tapi prangai panas baran n short fuse aku.. aku akan try ubah benda tu. xmau dah bebai2 xtentu pasai, xmau dah moody on silly stuf.. aku nk jadik more patient person pasni. thirdly, life management.stat dr ari ni aku nk stat plan idup aku. bkn aku nk uabh truih prinsip aku yg xmau pikiq pasai future aku xplan nk ubah benda tu pun just nk organized idup aku ckit bg x mess up mcm slalu.at least ada plan ckit dr xplan lgsg. susah kaalu xplan lgsg ni n just follow the flow. in some matter ble but in some matter, it wont fit in. forth, punctuality? wow! aku dapat adiah dua jam taun ni. so, paham2 r double meaning org bagi kat aku tu, suro punctual ckit.actually kalau nk tau aku sblom2 ni xpenah ada masalah punctuality ni. seriesly tanya la sapa yg kenai aku sblom masuk uitm kedah, aku mmg punctual. but as life goes on, aku jadik malas. aku slalu punctual tapi org sekeliling aku xpenah nk punctual.. janji nk jumpa pukui 3, aku slalu aku get ready around 2.45 cmtu dah ciap dah, last2 org tu akan mai around 3.30. WTF? so, xmau ubah r aku pny punctuality.aku tggu suma org stat punctual bru aku ubah. tu ja dulu.. aku xmau plan n make revolution byk2 sgt takut nnt suma xble nk wat. mcm nu year pny revolution r. last hampeh satu pun xwat. sepbek tahun ni aku xplan apa2 time nu year. ok, tu ja kot. btw, thanx pada suma yg wish aku.MUMMY, ABAH, AKAK,HAJAR adikku, SAF,IMAH, INA, AIMI, SHAYID,DAYAT, E-IN, AYIP, ADIB, KHUSAINI, SAM, AFTAL, AH SIU, AH MAY, LING LING. n to suma yg igt, thanx. sweet 19 adam..

Aku & Mohawk

kata la apa hampa nk kata.. aku xkesah.. apa, "punk makan sampah? ", "rambut cam durian?", "cicak jatuh konpem mati?". sikit pun xkesah n sikit pun xtrasa.. aku dan mohawk mmg xble nk dipisahkan.. sorry r , walaupun aku dlm proses nk mengubah diri aku tp aku xplan nk ubah hairstyle aku dlm masa terdekat.. peh...mati aku, konpem naek court uitm lg sem depan. ahaks.
pak guard, u better watch out ok!! ahaks

Special Award Dari Rekha

wow.. thanks rekha.. sbb bagi award ni.. aku ngn rekha mmg rapat. ari2 dia baca blog aku n xpnah skali pun dia miss tggal comment kat blog aku.. aku sgt berbangga ada kawan mcm dia.. lots-of-love, mmg dia penuh dgn kasih sayang..rekha mmg caring pada suam kwn2 dia.. walaupun kami hanya berkenalan di alam blogs, but still aku care kat dia.. tahnks again for the award ok.. igt rekha, lots of love..

I Hate Being SiCk....

xshiok kot.. tapi for what its worst, aku sendri yg gatai maen ujan. dah demam nk bebai2 plak.. bodoh gak ek.. tp, besh pa maen ujan.. dulu yime kecik2 slalu kena marah bila maen ujan, ni dah besaq2 pun stil kena marah gak.ish2.. life aint sweet.. haha..xpa, demam ja pun.. eh, jap.. bkn demam ja..selesema g, batuk g.. mmg aku suka carik penyakit r.

p/s- apa aku dok merepek ni????

Specially For You

"angel.."

I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU.. I LOVE YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU,,I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU.. I MISS YOU..I MISS YOU

p/s-only u...